Let’s talk about..sex.
Because honestly, the subject is talked about very often, but rarely in the right context.
When I say the “right context”, I mean in biblical context. Everywhere we turn, we see advertisements attempting to entice our sexual and sensual pleasures, we hear sexual rap/R&B songs on the radio. Let me be honest, not too long ago I would listen to some of these songs and internally battle with God, thinking…“Yeah I know the lyrics are a little ‘out there’ but I’m not getting turned on by them so I don’t see anything wrong with it!”
We also live in a society in which feminism is valued and encouraged; and while I agree with some parts of the movement, I’ve also witnessed the negative impact the movement has on the ideology of many women, myself included. Sexual freedom. I felt empowered when I chose to give my body to whoever I wanted and afterward pretending to move on as if I wasn’t affected. This dangerous habit was what led to my almost-demise. You can read about this in a previous blog post Why I chose celibacy.
But listen, sex is not about physical feelings. Sure, it does feel great. But that is not why God created it. In fact, there isn’t anything in Scripture that associates sex with feeling! If you don’t believe me, look for yourselves! Instead, God created sex because he looovesss unity. And sex allows a husband to unite deeper in intimacy with his wife, and vice versa. Want to know how much God loves unity? Take a look at this scripture:
Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brothers [and sisters] dwell in unity! It is like the precious oil on the head, running down on the beard, on the beard of Aaron, running down on the collar of his robes! It is like the dew of Hermon, which falls on the mountains of Zion! For there the Lord has commanded the blessing, life forevermore.
Psalms 133:1-3 ESV
Did you miss that last part? It’s okay…I’ll emphasize it here for you sis. I get so excited every time I read that last verse! The Lord commands a blessing wherever there is unity!! Sex exists for us to grow in unity with our spouse. Sex creates what is commonly referred to as “soul ties”. Sex is not about physical pleasure, it is about fostering spiritual intimacy not only with your spouse but together with God.
Let me say this again, sex is spiritual, not physical. It never was, nor will it ever be. Every time you give someone your body, you are uniting with them; you become one flesh. Which, in the right context, is a part of God’s perfect will for many of you, to marry a man whom He created just for you and to become one with him.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 ESV
But when you give yourself, your precious and sacred temple, to someone outside the sacrament of marriage, that doesn’t stop your flesh from joining with his! It is a recipe for unimaginable pain, betrayal and all sorts of setbacks. The Lord could be waiting to send your husband, but you cannot see the Lord moving in your life because you are blinded by lust, blinded by misconceptions of love, and trying to “play house” with someone who is not your husband.
It took me years to fully recover from the damaging “soul ties” that were created with guys who didn’t deserve me. And now I’m here to tell someone…You are worth more than your body! A man’s approval and affirmations toward you should never mean more than God’s. His word confirms our identity, we are fearfully and wonderfully made, among many other truths!! If the person you’re with is the right one for you, he should be willing to wait for marriage with you. Anyone who does not have the intention of marrying you or honoring your walk with God is not the man whom the Lord has ordained for you.
Ending toxic relationships are hard. Trust me, I’ve been there. But I wouldn’t be walking in my purpose had I not ended them and started anew. This life of mine, although not perfect, has gotten so much better just knowing I’m where God needs me to be.
Let us never forget that walking in the Lord’s will is the most important thing we will ever do. Finding out why we were created, and walking in that purpose, should always come first, over marriage, and especially over sex.
Spend some time with the Lord today and search your heart: are you idolizing sex? Do you value intercourse more than Godly marriage, more than finding and walking in purpose, more than your relationship with God? If so, pray this prayer with me today:
Father, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me (Psalms 51:10). I want your perfect will for my life, and I’m learning that in order to draw nearer to you, I must honor you with my body. But I don’t know where to start! Lord, please show me the path, fill me with your spirit, mold me into who you have created me to be, each and every day. I choose you over all things, and I love you above all. In Jesus’ name, Amen. ❤